


Flawed Logic

by Catclaw



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: He gets there though...., M/M, Self-Denial, So much Self-Denial, Surprisingly quickly...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-12
Updated: 2006-06-12
Packaged: 2019-04-05 17:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14049096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catclaw/pseuds/Catclaw
Summary: It’s a universal law that if something rhymes then it’s true, right?





	Flawed Logic

_don’t want him. I don’t! I’m not gay, I don’t want Rodney McKay! See, it rhymes! And if it rhymes it has to be true. It’s a universal law that if something rhymes then it’s true. Right?_ Even as he argued the point in his head, John knew that his logic was deeply flawed. _But, at it’s basis it’s true_ , his head continued. _Because I’m not gay. I’m military for heaven’s sake, a fighter pilot at that. I’m *not* gay!_

He punctuated the last thought with a particularly violent punch to the dummy in front of him, allowing all thoughts to flow out of his mind; he continued to vent his frustration on the boxing dummy.

Breaking from her own exercises, Teyla raised an eyebrow as John glanced up at her, as though questioning his seemingly sudden aggression.  
“Perhaps you should talk to him,” she suggested after the dummy took another series of violent manoeuvres. His head whipped up and he stared at her. “Obviously you and Dr McKay have fought, if it’s upset you that much, you should talk to him.”  
“We haven’t argued!” He snapped at her, annoyance increasing as she once again raised her eyebrow.

Growling quietly under his breath, John strode out of the room, intent upon doing *something*, anything to occupy his over-thinking and overheating brain.

_I’m not gay. I don’t want Rodney McKay._

He marched along the corridors of the ancient city, not paying any heed to what he was doing or where he was going. His mind whirred, thoughts overlapping. Sighing quietly in frustration, he bit the inside of his cheek, trying to gain control of his raging thoughts and emotions. Focus. He had to focus. Taking a deep breath, he began to differentiate, calculating the gradient of numerous planets’ orbit around their respective suns. He was so intent upon the number pattern, that he didn’t notice the direction his feet had taken him in until a familiar, scathing voice broke through his concentration. He nodded his head in sympathy as one of the newer female scientists walked past him, her steps hurried.

The voice itself had produced a simultaneous feeling of aversion and longing. _I’m not gay, I don’t want Rodney McKay_ ,the same small voice from before argued, picking up where it had left off before. _I don’t want him. Why would I? What is there to want? He’s abrasive, sarcastic, a pain in the ass, he has as much social skill as a sack of potatoes. Yet, when you do manage to become friends with him, he’s loyal to a fault,_ a second, smaller voice added, quietly at first, but slowly growing louder. _When pressed he faces what he’s afraid of, making him an incredibly brave man, he’s risked his life for people he doesn’t know and for those he does and he’s unbelievably intelligent. What is there to not want?_

John shook his head, bringing himself out of the shocked daze of his realisation, and yet, that other voice still persisted, _I’m not gay. I don’t want Rodney McKay. I *don’t*._

He moved forward, determined to get out of the science section, but his feet disobeyed him and he found himself pausing outside the door to Rodney’s lab, observing him.

Rodney’s body was slumped, as though in defeat and a great sadness was rolling off of him. And although he was giving his task his full attention, John could tell that his heart wasn’t in it. John’s own heart went out to him and the little voice urged him to enfold the physicist in his arms, though he knew the man in question was not likely to welcome the action.

The longing that he’d felt merely at the sound of Rodney’s voice increased, the second voice doubling in volume, making itself heard as loudly as the first.

He checked his watch; plan formulating even as he stood there, smiling when it seemed that fate was conspiring with him that day. He walked silently up behind the unsuspecting scientist and laid a hand on his shoulder, grinning as he shot a foot into the air.  
“Jesus Colonel! What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack? What would happen to the project then? Who would save your sorry ass then?” At that, John’s grin simply got larger, completely unrepentant.  
“Get up.” Rodney stared at him as though he’d lost his mind, “it’s lunch, so for the good of your health and the continuation of the project, I’m making sure you eat.” His thousand-watt smile and happy tone belied what was supposed to have been a self-sacrificing speech.

Instead of leading Rodney to the mess, John walked him to his own quarters, grabbed some of the junk food that he had stashed there before marching the complaining scientist to the nearest transporter and ‘borrowing’ JumperOne. John knew that he’d pay for that later, but as of that moment, it wasn’t important.

They found an area on the mainland that fulfilled Rodney’s safety requirements and began their impromptu picnic. Lunch was a jovial affair, both men trading insults and sniping at each other, as was usual with the two. All of a sudden the first voice went quiet. Drowned by the second. His eyes widened in surprise, yet he knew the truth of what the second voice said.

Without thinking about what he was doing, he leant forwards and pressed a kiss to Rodney’s mouth. Rodney pushed him back, spluttering in surprised and John couldn’t help but smile at having made the normal vocal man at a loss for words.   
“It’s not a game,” he said, answering the questions he could see in Rodney’s eyes, “it’s not stress relief and it’s not me poking fun at you. I… I like you and want to take our friendship further.” He cringed at the awkwardness of his words, finding it hard to phrase what he wanted to say, but glad that he’d said it all the same. “I want you Rodney.” He smiled with the rightness of that small sentence.

Then Rodney was back within his personal space, kissing him softly, which wasn’t something that he’d ever thought he would say about the other man. _This feels so right. Why did I ever try to deny myself this? Guess, I am gay and I do want Rodney McKay. Hey, what do you know, that rhymes as well, which means that it must be true. Yeah, that’s one of the basic philosophies of the universe, if it rhymes, it’s right and it’s true and nothing can break that._


End file.
